02/08/2025
Sons all went out. We had a talk. Just to find out the reason why he never apologize - he said he never do wrong. His point of view was that I was a trouble maker. Money was all he talked about, I suddenly realized he was afraid that I was running after his money. He forgotten that I used to earn more than him. If I am a money digger, I marry him a pauper?
Now my only wish in life is to divorce him.
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03/08/2025
Bought by Darren and I have been drinking this on alternate days. I hate the taste but my bowels is saved. To the extend that I am almost free from medication.
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04/08/2025
Was river watching with my husband. The water level was rising very quickly, so we had to leave. As usual, he was much faster than me, I couldn't catch up with him and finally lost the sight of him in a school. I looked for him around the school, outside the school, in the carpark. I ran into a few men that looked like him. I tried to call or massage him, but my phone wouldn't work...
I lost him in both the dream and reality...
伤心归伤心，still had to eat.
Last packet of Sydney pasta.
Rainbow Day-G seemed to be telling me there's hope in life.
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06/08/2025
I dreamt of ex-husband again. He walked towards me slowly with a painful expression. Heart pain was for real, and he got closer, I saw so much redness and wounds on his body, he collapsed onto me, I woke up with tears.
Did I hurt him?
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07/08/2025
It says online that it take someone to miss me so much that he is able to come into my dream. He is so heartless and selfish, miss me for what? I don't know why I had to cry again.
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08/08/2025
Haiz... no energy to cry already. God is trying to save my pocket, one day I will get my Zoa.
I fell forward outside the toilet, banged on my right knee and elbow. Thank god for watching over me, didn't hit my head.
It was so painful that I started laughing, cos all the emo-ness was instantly transferred to my knee and elbow.
But at night I was crying again. Saw this phrase online:
分手不代表感情结束，是感情的另一个方式。 I had to close the door and cried again. That dragon didn't even know I miss him so much...
So I had a painful day, physically and emotionally.
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10/08/2025
Since separation under the same roof, I stopped buying groceries, trying to save every dollar till I get a job. Good thing that the house has abundance of almost everything. I still get to drink Starbucks but it was bitter, haiz...
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12/08/2025
Meet up with Vivian over dinner.
She wasn't happy with her job, it was a bitchy environment. So she is joining me in "jobless group". Back in China, her 90yo mother fell down, broke her leg. She had her set of problem to solve. But she said I am in a worst plight lolxx... I never expect myself to be in this plight either hur hur hur haiz...
Shu Liu Xiang 蜀留香，inexpensive, hidden gem behind busy NorthPoint Mall.
My rare occasion eating with a friend, she is such nice person, hope to make my effort to be closely in touch with her.
Some sweet glazed potato which was so yummy.
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13/08/2025
It's sad that my sis rejected my help with her shifting house. I know she always felt obligated to look after me whenever I was in UAE (she's never convinced that I can take care of myself lolxx...).
Anyways, not a bad thing, I continue with my job hunting though all my resumes sunk. Demoralizing, no help and no hope at the moment. The least I can do now is to stay alive.
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14/08/2025
I had thought of working in a cruise ship but I may not be good for the physical demand. Thought of working in Dubai or Sydney, just my wishful thoughts, can't bare to dump my father solely to my kid sis...
I opened up the can of horse meat to put into fried rice. It tasted like beef, not a fan, our first and last try.
I had this palm size big fat Pingu sat beside my PC for quite a few days.
But it was only this day I realized a tear drop on it's right cheek. Looked so pitiful that I teared also, haiz... sign of depression I know, whatever...
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15/08/2025
Couldn't sleep well these few nights, having headaches in mornings, trying to break this vicious cycle. My ex-company's HR could actually message me to ask which are my available work days for Sep. The manager also created a group chat for work and added me. I never seen a company running this way in my entire life, never been more glad to resign.
Saw this online, too funny. 如果把你的一生拍成电影，片名会是什么？ A genius came out with this title:
Fml X100 waahaahaa...
Not any better here, the world is so big, but there's no place for me, rentals are so expensive...
I cooked dinner for my sons, their father had a fixed routine of having dinner with colleagues/friends every Tues and Fri.
Mapo tofu from Lee Kim Kee was so saltish.
I must be out of mind to msg him, I just dropped a wave emoji and he replied... my life buoy.
From then, I stopped crying, I am the happiest sinner ever. I know it's not going last but I don't care.
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